Yes, we play weddings...
These pics were taken mostly by Greg Wolodkin, who has a .Phd in something or other, and yet hasn't quite figured out the whole "holding the camera straight" aspect of photography...

Well ok, he obviously didn't take this one, but he took the rest I swear!

You can tell he's just setting up because his shirt isn't glowing under it's own power. He is, however, wearing gold mylar underwear. You can't see them but they make a unique crinkly sound when he walks

Paul is virtually incapable of being in a picture without making a funny face. This ruined his chances of achieving his true ambition, cover model for GQ. He insists it's not a problem, it's something he can control if he wants to, he just doesn't want to...

Look who's talking...

Little sweaty there Steve? Jesus... Hope he brought a change of undies.

Mike taking his state of the art equipment out of his little red box. Mike had poison ivy, and he very much regretted wearing a shirt with a wool lining. Making love in the great outdoors always sounds good in theory, and it's all fun and games until someone gets an itchy ass

John is checking the tune of his piano. Of course, it's electronic and makes no real sound, but we just let him put his ear closer and closer until he bonks his face on the keys. We're all pretty jaded to it now, but you can see Joe Reidy in the background waiting for that magic moment. BONK!

Soundman Jay looking at more knobs in one place than he's ever seen (He was heard to remark that "hadn't twisted so many short little nubblies since his last trip to Centerfolds 2000"). The guy beside him has something to do with the hall we played in, and is probably concerned that Jay will somehow blow things up. He's probably smart to be concerned.

Paul looking oddly un-funny... tranquilizers kicking in...

Mr. Ladd has spent a great deal of time in finding just the right combination of effects that don't always work and cords that also don't always work. It's like musical instrument russian roulette. Mike is a fan of Punk rock and he likes the anarchy of not knowing if his equipment will work from song to song, let alone night to night.

The wardrobe trailer... The Valves are strongly influenced by the KISS school of rock and roll, you don't have to be great if your clothes are flashy enough to distract the masses.

There he is, Captain Cool, The Funky One, Mr. "I'm So Chillin' I Don't Even Need To Buy Clothes That Fit"...

Pre-Show... Getting ready to rock. This consists mostly of standing around bitching about how much the booze costs and making sure everybody goes potty. They made me sit at the kiddies table, god I hate that.

On stage and ready to go. Mike still jiggling cords. Ok, are you sure you all used the little boy's room? It will be too late once we start...

Our target demographic? Anyone who will sit and listen to us without leaving or throwing things.

Jay and his new "friend" Ralph Loconto. He's the father of the groom, but also the guy who is responsible for turning the Mill into the musical haven that it is.... Jay and Paul evidently decided to coordinate outfits.

This kid was a non stop dancing machine. Here he sets up to lay down the funky stuff

And the funky stuff gets laid down, Oh yeah! Oh yeah! It's ya birfday, it's ya birfday!!

The Odd Couple. Paul apparently sat on something long and hard, hope he remembers to floss. John is in full grumpy mode "grumble grumble grumble".

Mike in his new "Sensitive Guy" persona. No matter what song we did, he was playing "Girl from Ipanema"... it was spooky

Reagan has to be reminded occasionally that it's not necessary to actually eat the microphone. Nice legs though.... (She'll hit me for saying that, come on, hit me, hit me again... Oh yeah!)

How many drummers do you know who buy shoes to color coordinate with their drums? Tommy thinks of everything.

Allen and Steve could have been contestants on "So you think you can dance". Of course, the answer would have come back "NO, you can't, please stop for the love of all that's holy", but they tried their little hearts out.

Paul shakes his bony little ass. Both Tom and Paul were suspiciously not wearing their usual "Where did you just come from, a science fiction convention?" outfits. The Salvation Army Thrift Store must have closed early.

This kid's name was Brooks Milgate. He was great, not a real snappy dresser, but man could he play that thing. Either he doesn't think a friend's wedding is worthy of a shave or he has 5 o'clock shadow that should be in the guinness book.

Speaking of Guinness... Jay stopped worrying about the knobs after about the first half hour, after which anyone asking him to turn down was greeted with "Wha? Wahzz yer problem, ssoundsgreat, you wanna piecea me? Come on, right now, come on!! You wanna peezothish, I'll whip youin the wow I need nother beer hey you, you buddy, hey nother beer, where's the waitress, aww come on...".

I only play songs I like, I must not have liked this one. I have this odd way of looking like I bought my clothes when I was much taller and then somehow shrank. It's like looking in a funhouse mirror, except it's no fun...

Reyna was one of many who found time to take a snooze.

Play it! Don't Spray it!! We put a roman candle in Roger's horn when he wasn't looking. BOOM... pretty funny...

Greg and Reagan looking... ummm... well, less than dignified.

The horn guys were dancing like the Rockettes, except they aren't hot chicks in short costumes. OK, more like the Jackson 5.. Well, actually it's more like the dance class at the Webster Square housing for the elderly.

Paul plays while looking over his homeowner's insurance policy. Paul often does complex paperwork during a gig. From his look, I'm guessing he didn't get that flood coverage after all.

Tom finally changed into his mirror ball shirt. You can see already how much happier he is. Almost maniacal. "Look into my shirt, and you may see your future"

Mike tries hard to be like James Dean, but often ends up more like Jimmy Dean, smelling like sausage.

I look like at any moment someone will pull a cord and I'll fill with helium and float away. Sure, it LOOKS funny, but who would you rather be with in the event of a shipwreck? Those are some loose pants, but I need the space due to my... Well, let's just say all the energy that should have gone into hair production was put to better use, and leave it at that. Don't believe me? Wanna check? I didn't think so...

They say you can't judge a man by the size of his horn... It's not the size, it's what you do with it. God I hope that's true...

John's arthritis suddenly acted up. Or was he calling forth spirits? "Come out, vile shades, let thy specter spring forth and leave this instrument and.. umm... go haunt Mike's stuff, he'll never know, it barely works as it is..."

Reagan lookin sexy..... Oh Yeah!! Christina Agu-who?

This is what it looks like just before you hit two men with a bus. At night. On Castro Street.

Amazing what a few well placed lights will do, isn't it? This has been the secret to a lot of band's success, well placed lights.

Steve almost ready to lay down the law

And the law gets LAID!

Picture yourself in a boat on a river, with tangerine trees and marmalade skies.... Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly, the bass guy with marshmallow thighs....

OH YEAH BABY!!! What's Jimmy Page got that Mike hasn't got, besides millions of dollars, adoring fans, hit records and a guitar amp that doesn't rely on duct tape as a power source.

While we make noise, Timmeh holds down the fort. The headphones on Noah are filled with subliminal teaching tapes "You want to pee in the toilet, you want to pee in the toilet, you never want to hear raffi again, teletubbies suck, you want to watch football, vomit on mommy, vomit on mommy..."

When he grows up looking like his face got caught in an elevator door, he will find this photo and know who was responsible, and he will be bitter

And finally, the real star of the show. Reyna sings The Rose