and of course, you can't have good old rock and roll without loud amps, and good loud amps often use valves, or as they are better known in the U.S.: "Tubes"

Which should not be confused with these tubes...

or these tubes...

Or this tube top...

However, if you look ANYTHING EVEN REMOTELY like this, you are very much encouraged to wear one of these to Valves gigs as often as possible, especially if you're dancing style tends towards the "Bouncy"...

BUT,
I digress.

Valves are often found in machinery
(and let's have no juvenile humor about the Dykes ring... )

And even your body is chock full-o-valves

So, are we called The Valves because our instruments often use them? Or because the world is full of important valves and we wanted to pay homage to this seldom celebrated simple machine? Is it because your heart has valves and we want to make your heart pump faster when you get up and shake your tube top to our pulsing throbbing beat?

OK, let's go with that. But, the real reason is that all the other names that were suggested really sucked. All of the names on the list below were considered more or less seriously, and this isn't even a comprehensive list. You try naming a band sometime, it aint easy...

REJECTED NAMES LIST

(something) and the Irresistable Force
10,000 Accountants
A Bunch of Drunks
A Quick Buck
Absolute Power
Advice to Young Men
All Nude Girls Tonight Only
Allow Me
Anonymous
Any seconds?
Apoplectic
Assassinate the Preppy Whale
Backwater Sludge
Badabing LaZonga
Balloon Rocks
Band Name Fodder
Band O Rama
Band of the week
Band-tastic
Bare Bones
Bart and the McCrackheads
Bass Ackwards
Big Group
Big Pants Needed
Big Woody and The Nuts
Black Ass at the Crossroads
Blackbeard & His Scurvey Bilge Rats
Blind Jelly Roll & The Jam
Blowin' the notes
Blue Monday
Blue Rinse Blues Boys
Box of Brass
Braggin Rights
Brass Stax
Broke-Down
Broken Hearts of the Commonwealth
Buckets of Rain
Bumba
Buns in the Oven
Chatty Cathy
Checkin' out the Honkers
Cherry Hatricks
Chimera 2, Electric Boogaloo
Choosy Beggars
Coach Class
Coordinated Chaos
Corporate Sales
Creaks & Groans
CyberHorns
Dark as Snow
Day For Night
Dead Cat Bounce
Dead Cat Swingers
Deep Do Do
Destined For Prison
Dirty Work
Dog Eat Dog
Downgrade
Drunge
Duck Blind Slim and his Big Band
Eight Dollar Room
Einstein Was Wrong
Error Code
Everything Reminds You of Something
Excess Baggage
Express Train
Extremely Extreme
Extremely Sorry
Facts About Steel
Fifty Grand
Fists of Fury
Five Finger Discount
Fleece Underwear are the Way to Go
Full Throttle
Gathered Moss
Gay Apparell
Golden Bozos
Great News
Greg Wolodkin & Harmonica Drool
Group Rate
Had Enough
Hall Effect
Hammered
Harmon & the Mutes
High Compression
Hindsight
Hitler's Platypus
Hobo's Apprentice
Hollow
Hope Springs Internal
Hornography
Horns-A-Poppin'
Hornucopia
Hot Man Chowder
House of Bones
Incompetency
Insane Politics
James Cotton's Saliva
James Flame and the Browns
Jerry and the Atricks
Jiggly Jubblies
Joe Miglionico & Men In Tights
Jumbo Shrimp
Ketchup Not Catsup
KickBack
King Post
Lap Dance Polka
Leave it to the Australians
Lint
Long Story Short
Lucky Johnson
Lumpy Rutherfurd and the Beavers
Mayonnaise Catastrophe
Mayonnaise Incident
Mean Free Path
Melba Toast
Men and Farm animals
Men of the World
Merkin
Mike & the Merry Ladds
Missing Mattress Tags
Mojo Filters
Moveable Feast
Mr. Bad Luck
Necessary Evil
Needles In Hay
NGB
No Crap
No Thanks
Nobody Ever Dies
Nonstop
Not Enough
Nothing More
One Last Gasp
One Step Two Step
Oodles of Poodles
Other Side of the Door
Out of the Question
Over The Hill-Apalooza
Park Avenue Strollers (for the Tuxedo set)
Perverts In Ice Cream Trucks
Piquant After Taste
Plowed
Polishing Stick
Potential Fiasco
Pretty Ugly
Probably
Professor Phantasmagoria’s Big Time Jalopy Rental and Big
Band
Prom Night Virgins
Putnam & Thurstones
Racks Of Rhythm
ratsass (small r, one word)
Really Huge
Relevant Cousins
Retro
Return of the Misfit Toys
Right Foot Red
River Of Squirrells
Romantic Tacos
Scrunchy
Secret Pudding
Seeing-Eyed Dog
Sensory Overload
Sinful Intent
Slick Dick and the Trojans
Smashed
Snafu
Soulsation
Sound Government
Sound Sensation
soundbox
Sounds like a Plan
Sponge
Steve LeClaire & The Shave
Stupid Calcium
Symphony Bandages
Ten
Ten Indians
The Bad Cats
The Beastiality Boys
The Beverly Beer Bellies
The Big Blow
The Big Huge (something)
The Blowers
The Blowguns
The Boilermakers
The Boyntones
The Bush Beaters
The Cedar Junction Big Band
The Centrums
The Cobblers
The Cold Cuts
The Conductors
The Demented Tigger Blues Band
The Dislocations
The End of Something
The Excess Carriers
The False Teeth
The First Forty-nine
The Fish Mongers
The Gambler, the Nun, and the Radio
The GrooveDiggers
The Haberdashers
The Helmsmen
The Honky Brothers
The Horde
The Impurities
The Janitors
The Justice League
The Knockout Mice
The Lawn Jockeys
The Licks
The Loafers
The Mechanics
The Messy Sounds
The Methods
The New Moms
The Newborns
The Porters
The Post and Beam R&B All-stars,
The Reagan Administration
The Repairs
The Return of Tornado Alley
The Roadmasters
The Roger Grover Experience
The Scene Iles
The Scrappers
The Shop Drawings
The Slacks
The Solids
The Spectacles
The Spit Valves
The Staggers
The Studd Muffins
The Thorns
The Top Cats
The Torrents
The Trilobytes
The Trunnels
The Tubes (wait that's taken)
The Viagra Jockeys
The Wafers
The Westwood Hillbillies
The Whoremasters
The Wimpy Wimpy Wormtones
The Worcester Area Over The Hill Musicians Liberation Army
Three Balled Tomcat
Throbbin’ Pain and the Fart Clusters
Throwback
Thwack!
Titties In Tweed
Tore Down
Tornado Alley........... Why Not?
Twisted Knickers
Uh-Huh Thats Right
Uncle Daddy and the Family Secret
Under 21
Vanilla Steam
Vicious Nitwits
Water Street Rats
We Need A Name
White City Rollers
White Men Can’t Funk
Whomp!
Wide Turns
Wings Over Buffalo
Worcester's Entire Night Life Band
You Want Fries With That?
Zig Zag Zombies
ZZ Bottom

---

I seem to recall being very partial to "Dead Cat Bounce", "Thwack!" and of course, "Backwater Sludge" myself .

For the record, the name "The Valves", was originally suggested by Greg, and after much discussion, threats, blackmails, cajoling and endless votes, was officially adopted on May 17th 2004 when Steve sent out this E-Mail:

"Cool...."The Valves"...
...Dat's who we be...."

And the rest, as they say, is history,
or in our case, the present.