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| Bios
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Joe
was born at a small research outpost in Antarctica. As a small boy,
he would wander to the edge of the ocean and watch the walrus eat
penguins and frolic as only walruses can. He in fact, began to think
of himself AS a walrus and to emulate their behavior in disturbing
ways. His parents, usually too wrapped up in their study of how
fruit flavoring and a paper cone could be used to make the antarctic
ice a food source, were unaware of their sons walrusness until one
of their assistants had seen him attempting to mate with a 4000
lb female. They decided they had to remove him from Antarctica and
take him back to the US. He was disoriented at first, not understanding why no one else seemed to want to eat raw fish or crash headfirst into him in a battle for territory. He soon adjusted however and before long was eating at McDonalds and watching Star Trek like any ordinary teenager. Still, the sea called to him, and he found himself taping The Undersea World of Jaques Cousteau. His parents, somehow reminded of his existence again a few years later, bought him a bass guitar in hopes of getting him out of their hair again for a few more years. Finding it inedible, he decided to learn to play it, noting how the low tones it produced were almost walruslike in pitch and volume. Now, the bass is his primary focus, but he can sometimes still be found facing south, clapping his flippers together and waiting for mating season to begin once more. |
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