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Bike Week, Laconia NH 2009
Lots of pictures on this page, so give it some time to load. The smaller shots are from a cell phone.

Getting ready to leave for Laconia. Roger, looking as excited as I've ever seen him anticipating a day of bikes, music and pouring rain.

Katie was less enthused...

Greg was forced to handcuff her early to make sure she didn't run screaming from the bus before we got underway. And no, you're not the only one who finds it odd that Greg walks around with what are apparently leg shackles...

Allen had his super duper all access pass which Steve made. It would seem that all anyone had to do was slap a picture in plastic and put it on a string to avoid paying admission to anything.

Mike looks pensive as he wonders if his job selling lucky lotto tickets will still be waiting for him when he gets back

Greg explains the finer points of changing strings to Steve's son Ben.

Greg was back with us for this gig (if some of you weren't aware, Greg was forced to drop out of The Valves not long ago) and it was great to have him back. Greg was and is still the Heart of the Ghostbusters.. er.. The Valves

Ben and Rich sat across from each other stalwartly continuing to do work related nonsense and refused to get into any tour bus hijinks

JD had nothing to do but he also refused. He did however wear one of his huge collection of vintage Stax T shirts

Mike, wearing the latest "Adam from American Idol" hairstyle, looks on with amused condescension as Greg tried to get him to admit that it's ok to like something that isn't written by obscure anarchists.

He then spent the rest of the trip trying to convince KT that not all men are worthless slugs, only most of them.

Rich blackberries someone, trying to stay ahead of the curve

he did take the time to look out at the soggy roadways from time to time

Two Scoops spent most of the trip avoiding all of us by staying in her little cubbyhole. I can't say I blame her, I would have done the same but they didn't have a cubbyhole big enough.

The world rushes by unseen as Rich and Allen share a moment of quite bemusement

Greg wonders why all of his pictures are coming out black, not yet checking the lens cap, while Mike inexplicably stares at Greg's crotch

Steve, his wife Joy and son Ben all relaxed and sang dirty limericks the entire trip

Ben had the right idea

At some point a burning odor started to pervade the bus. It was traced to Mike's shoes which apparently were on the verge of bursting into flame from being too close to the heater. Rich shows amazing courage just by getting so close to Mike's shoes. He wasn't there for the "So full of bacteria, it was evolving it's own ecosystem" leopard shirt at the Channel" event, lo those many years ago...

"What, me burst into flames?" This is exactly how so many Spinal Tap drummers spontaneously combusted. Only Mike's hair gel was able to dissipate enough heat to keep him from going up like so much lighter fluid soaked oily rags.

We enter the outskirts of Laconia. It was dissapointingly bikeless

Chip the bus driver sang irish folk songs the whole way

KT laughs at Greg's attempts to use his camera

while showing me the respect I deserve for knowing the difference between aperture and shutter priority

Looking towards the front of the bus, you can see that no one quite figured out how to get the DVD player to do anything more than say "DVD". No shit it's the DVD...

Two Scoops after she changed into her gigwear was quite the smoking hottie. If only I were 20 years younger, I still would have no chance, but I wouldn't be able to just say it's because I'm too old...

Oooh baby, so much attitude in such a small package

Ben helps plan our itinerary

I asked them both to give me their best Rock Star Attitude looks. Greg's looks more like amused befuddlement, while KT's look is indifferent annoyance

Sunken Chest Quarterly, I present your next centerfold

Joy, looking every bit the biker mama. Why she doesn't let Steve buy a motorcycle is beyond me, she's born to ride on the back of a Harley

This was our bus. Somewhere near the back is the new tire to replace the one that blew out on the way up. The bang was so loud when it happened that I thought we had run over a moose, or a biker or a biking moose. I wanted to get a photo of the ripped up old tire, but it was raining out so screw that

Greg finally gets the lens cap off, and we face each other like the duelists of old. I haven't seen the picture he took of me, but I would think he would need a pretty wide angle lens to get it. Or, is this Greg taking a picture of himself in a mirror? The mind boggles at the possibilities.

Step one: put stuff in the hair

Step two: mess it up with mathematical precision, to get just the right sexy hot mama look going

Step 3: get pissed at the fat guy for taking so many photos of you getting ready

and SCHWIIIIIIING!! Smoking Hottie alert. For those of you thinking"Why does he have so many pictures of Katie and so few of every one else", I have a one word answer. "Duh!"

Performing before us on Thursday was James Montgomery.

He had a great band

But he also had to deal with the rain and potential electrocution.

Yes, that's rain you can see. It poured through the entire first night. Thanks to Chip the bus driver for getting these shots from the relative dryness of the big tent.

The rain acted as a moat keeping a large swath of emptiness between us and the crowd who were about 30 feet away under a big tent

Nothing more exciting than playing on a soaking stage, wondering if the mix of water and electricity will make your next note your last

Yes,. that's a video screen behind us. I can't help but think it would have been more effective to show Girls Gone Wild on it instead of us. You can see we had the rapt attention of the crowd

Why is my tie so long? It makes my torso look like it goes all the way to my knees. I look like a penguin.

Look at that rain come down. We survived the night of the wet bikers, will Saturday be any better? Let's find out.

Saturday morning, the bus sat like a hulking elephant waiting to be loaded for the long trek back to NH. I didn't take many pictures of the band on the bus this time (how many pictures of us all sitting around watching funny movies do you need?) but the trip was uneventful and a good time was had by all.

The band gathered at Steve's cottage in preparation, discussing how we could improve the show and the best means of waterproofing sax valves

Katie showed us all her Tambourine Bruise. Don't let anyone tell you that singing lead and playing light percussion doesn't have it's dangers

My attempt at a self portrait. I always look my best in fun house mirrors

It was a big bus. This made the trip up very comfy, however it turned into a problem when we found that the area we were given to put it was about the size of a Camry. Chip the Wonder Driver was able to make it work though.

Mike hides booze

Chip hides breakfast

A band portrait before we go. I'm so much shorter than everyone else, I look like I'm kneeling down.

Steve tries ever so hard not to touch anything and in the process probably came closest to dropping her.

Ahh yes, finally some bikes at bike week

I don't remember the name of this band, but they did all southern rock. They were pretty good too.

The bass player had a different funny hat for every song. Nice bass too, looks like the Geddy Lee signature.

The singer looked just like Paulie from American Chopper, but I don't think it was him. Dig the mike stand made of chain though. Mike should get one made entirely of used hair gel and mascara bottles

Won't you give me three steps, give me three steps towards the door....

Now you're talking, a singing drummer who looked like I will in ten years if I live that long

What song is it you wanna hear?

BIKER BABES!! Oh yeah. This poor girl was working at this little stand selling booze. She was Smoking hot but I felt bad because she was there for hours and hours. She was nice enough to pose for me though. Stupid blue pole!

More babes.

And biker puppies too. I don't know if the sign means this little dog's name is Acid or what?

This was my favorite bike from the whole weekend. I always said if I ever get a bike I would want a trike like this. I'm too uncoordinated to ride one with only two wheels. Not to mention having a big fat ass.

Couple more cuties. Not sure what the little one was looking at. Probably avoiding eye contact with me so she wouldn't burst out laughing

This bike only costs a lot more than my car did.

I would think it get very uncomfortable to sit so low but hold your arms up so high for any length of time, but what do I know?

Chrome chrome chrome, everywhere chrome. Have you ever noticed you almost never see chrome on cars anymore? Too bad

I dig the glasses

More hotties. This girl was incredibly beautiful, but it was hard getting a good shot of her because it was so dark where she was standing and so bright on either side. I would kill to do a whole shoot with her though, if she's out there and sees this, contact me, will you?

You kind of had to be there for this, motorcycles in an endless stream, on and on they came, like so many ants swarming to the carcass of a dead water buffalo

I would be seriously afraid to date this woman, she looks like she could squeeze off your thingy in a heartbeat if she sneezed at the wrong moment. But holy crap!

so many bikes, so much chrome

and it just goes on and on and on...

all this because some people hate air conditioning

Nice paint job. Not sure I would want to be the one sitting on the little cross seat on the back though.

Coonskin caps anyone?

I think it would be more manly to use the green chick M&M. Do they pay him to ride this thing, or did he pay them for use of all the trademarks?

The band before us was Entrain, who I knew mostly from an ad they did for Jordan's furniture a long time ago

They used a lot of percussion.

Come to think of it, I don't remember hearing them do any songs, just lots of percussion

ok, I must have seen something, because he's playing a keyboard here

cool bass. Some people have fantasies abut having sex with cheerleaders. I have fantasies about being tall and thin.

I think it needs more cowbell. How could I NOT say that?

his strap matches his pants

Katie does her pre-gig Icey Head under a blanket warm up routine. We went on earlier on Saturday, unfortunately, we got no shots of us actually playing (except for some from cell phone cameras. If I can get some of those onto my computer, I'll post them)

Before we started, there was a bikini contest. We had to all stand there for the entire time, which was a real chore, let me tell you...

This is the girl who won. I never did get her name, but she definitely deserved it.

You think she's done this sort of thing before? I think it's possible.

The view from the stage just before we started.

And of course, her post gig "dress up like the Joker" routine

She claims it's for her skin, but I think she did it just to scare the hell out of the rest of us to leave her alone on the trip home. Will we be back next year? Who knows...